The damn autumn or fall as it is called across the Atlantic ocean and ironically the latter name seems to make much more sense than the former is increasing its dose of red and orange leaves, lack of daylight, coughing people and pumpkins until it buries the memories of summer deeply in the sickening sense of Starbucks evil invention pumpkin spice lattes that I even managed to try for the first time in my life trying to emulate the experience of heart-beating discovery, a heightened sense to chase that my numb ghost like figure is almost devoid of, or just simply following the mass dictated trends, who am I trying to deceive? To impress? Myself? I am one of the many sheep in the herd, unimpressive, yet I want to blend in, I want to be just like others, I tell myself that I am no different as my throat over lubricates on an overly sweet concoction of an odd combination of cinnamon and some heavily pumpkin flavoured cookies, I even want to belong somewhere and maybe I want to feel that today my pathetic metamorphic shape has more meaning , but the fall is kicking in with its regular consumerism Halloween punch line, heroic, here is a sudden heroin overdose in a latte cup with my name on and eventually I am rapidly convulsing in nothing else but chaos like a Kafka’s insect unable to get off the floor.
The metamorphosis is taking its place. I am a face in the mirror, unfamiliar with the creature that stares back at me and I can’t even finish this entry.
